My Beautiful Mommy: Explaining Your Plastic Surgery to Your Kids

I do feel bad for Dr. Michael Salzhauer.  He is the Board Certified Plastic Surgeon who authored My Beautiful Mommy, the much maligned children's book which explains cosmetic surgery to patients' 4-8-year-olds.  To hear the television pundits, you would think that he was single-handedly responsible for foistering unrealistic body images on our nation's elementary-school kids.

While Dr. Salzhauer probably didn't realize that his book would stir up such a cultural maelstrom, I am glad that the ensuing controversy has created a forum for discussing plastic surgery with the under-10 crowd.  Certainly, grade-school children are concerned when their mothers are gone for a day or two, and then return with bruising and bandages.  Children under 10 are very concrete, and they need to know that their mothers are safe and are making rational choices.  Having an honest conversation with children, both before and after any procedure, is helpful for their understanding.

Contrary to the standard assumption, young children do not necessarily assume that they will inherit their mother's perceived deficiencies.  Most child psychologists recommend that parents tell their children, "Just because mommy isn't satisfied with her nose, doesn't mean that you, Little Jane, will have an unattractive nose.  And your nose will not necessarily need correction."  Children must not be made to feel deficient.

Also important is to reassure a child that the surgery is not mandatory--from a medical perspective.  Children worry that their mother might be ill.  A mother should inform the child that she is healthy.  The surgery is something she has chosen to do in order to improve her own self-esteem, and not for anything else.

A mother's (or father's) plastic surgery does not need to be a traumatic event for her (or his) children.  While a well-conceived book might help with a child's experience of the event, nothing replaces a series of heart-to-heart conversations.

Comments

[Mommy Makeover]

I am planning to have a cosmetic makeover because of my kids. I like being a mommy, but I also like to look good. I think my kids will understand my decision of having plastic surgery when I'll make it.